I wish you knew how much I want to be with you. Well I don’t even want to be with you that bad, I guess the idea of it is just cool to me. Or maybe it’s because I’m extremely lonely and long for physical affection and envy the people that have it. Fuck them for being happy. Good for them.
When I do that to myself, I feel gross afterwards. But in the moment it’s great. I do it because of the intimacy I’ll never experience.